Between your friends and his, you’ve been to over a dozen weddings together, and each time you leave wondering when it’s going to be your turn. If your friends’ engagement announcements are leaving you more stressed about your own relationship than happy for theirs, it’s time you start noticing the signs that this relationship might not be headed down the aisle at all – and for him to crap or get off the pot, as they say.
You’ve been together for 5+ years.
All of your friends who were single five minutes ago are now engaged and you are still waiting for your day in the spotlight. Men know early on whether or not they want to marry you and if it’s been five years (and you aren’t 21), the answer is probably no.
He doesn’t want to live together.
He equates living together to a roommate situation and there is nothing sexy about that. If the thought of a 1 year lease is freaking him out he will never be able to commit to a lifetime with you.
He avoids discussing it at all costs.
He refuses to have dinner at your mom’s house or double date with your married friends because god forbid someone asks him one more time when he is going to pop the question.
He uses reverse psychology.
At the times when he can’t avoid the discussion, he tries to convince you that not getting married is your decision and that you’re happy where things are in your relationship. He’s “so happy to be with a woman who doesn’t feel the social pressures of getting married”… right?
He’s not financially ready.
He isn’t saving for his future with you because, to be blunt, he doesn’t see one. If he is still spending all his money buying rounds of shots for strangers in bars instead of saving for a down payment on your dream home, it may be time to start shopping for a new future husband.
He makes big decisions without consulting you.
He tells you his plans instead of including you in the decision making. Going back to grad school, changing careers, or relocating for a job are all things you should have a say in if you are ever going to say I do.
He doesn’t want kids.
Not everyone wants to be a father, and that is fine, but not wanting a family (combined with any of the other signs) is just another reason why he doesn’t see a point in taking your relationship to the next level.
He says he’s not in any rush.
Actions speak louder than words, so if he is telling you he’s not ready, believe him.
He only has negative things to say about marriage
. It’s just a piece of paper, 50% of marriages end in divorce, etc. etc. If he is dropping these “lines” instead of down on one knee, it’s probably time you drop him.
He puts everyone else before you.
If you aren’t his number one now, chances are you are never going to be. If playing laser tag with his friends trumps staying home to take care of you when you are sick, he’s probably never going to propose… and you shouldn’t want him to.
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Rachael Kostelec Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.
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